Nice Ride...

Problem Child

Please Do Not Attempt This Stunt At Home !
I Always Laugh My Ass Off,
When I Look at this Picture...
As you can See in the Photo,
The Radar, has the Car clocked, at 99mph in a 35mph Zone...
But, the little Red Headed, Wide-Opened-Mouth, Wild Child
Is Still Hanging On...

I have a "Few" Friends, I just Love them to Death...
We Laugh and Always have Blast...Hanging Out and Such...
But, It's Their Bad Ass, No Mannered, Snotty Nose Children,
That Drives ME So Nuts..
Lately I find myself, not inviting those few Friends, over much...
If I could Only Say, Casually,
Without leaving Anyone Hurt or Bitter...
"Hey You Guys - Come On Over Anytime"...(smiling).
"Oh"...but, BTW: "Get A Babysitter !"

Do Any Of You, Have Any Friends,
That Have Mis-Behaved Kids, Too?
If So?
How Did You Handle, This Issue?

My Two Children, were Raised, with Good Manners...
Good Manners Should Always Be,
The #1 Top Priority...

Shnoodle

My Baby, My Best Friend and My Loyal Companion...
Is going to be A Daddy, for the First Time...(smiling)...
He still acts like A Puppy,
Even Though, He's Seven Years Old...

I let my Son's Girlfriend,
Take him, to her home, a couple weeks ago...
Shadow's a Toy Poodle,
And she has a Shitzu...
Someone told me Yesterday,
That there is a name, for these two..
Puppies are called, A "Shnoodle" ...
Personally, I've never heard of that breed,
Have You ?

Cool Illusion

Tilt your head to the left until you see the Illusion...

You should see a lady and a child standing sideways...

Ass Backwards

Redneck HMO

You know that you've joined a redneck HMO if:

The Annual Breast Exam, is Conducted, at Hooter's.

The ONLY 100% Coverage Expense, is Embalming.

The Tongue Depressors, taste Faintly, of Fudgesicles.

The Proctologist, Lists his Address as The Roto-Rooter.

Preventive Care Coverage, includes: "An Apple a Day".

The Lone Star Bar and Grill is, A New an approved Pharmacy.

Your Prozac, comes in c o l o r s, and has little "m"s....on each Pill.

Your Viagra Prescription includes: A Popsicle Stick and Some Duct Tape.

Your Primary Care Physician, is Wearing Pants, you gave to Goodwill, Last Month.

Directions to the Dr.'s Office, includes: "Take a Left, when you Enter The Trailer Park."

First Day of Autumn

Each day begins with simple choice,
Get up or stay in bed;
Shower, coffee, breakfast, smoke -
All choices from the head.

We make a choice to go to work,
To earn our daily bread;
We choose to do our very best,
Or just slide by instead.

And when we find our lives are wrong,
Each day is faced with dread;
We choose to stay or choose to go
Where angels fear to tread.

Our lives might end up nothing more
Than trying to get ahead;
Till sometime hence we realize
How fast the years have sped.

The path we take from day to day
Can either be followed or led;
Our lives are lines of choices made,
From birth until we're dead.